Arm Floaties

Naval medical said they had initially disqualified me from accompanying the Mr due to my psychological services.  After K was born, I really struggled with postpartum depression.  I've been seeing a psychologist and have felt so much better recently.  I'm feeling like myself again, but have been having a hard time with the anxiety of this Japan mess.  Anyway, I submitted a letter asking them to reconsider.  They did.  They said I am no longer disqualified on the mental health portion, but my medical records need to be screened by their doctor for my asthma and by their OBGYN to "see how high-risk" I am in case I were to have another baby while in Japan.
I'm not worried about being approved with my asthma- I've been well-controlled for the last 3 years.  The only reason I had to go to the ER in 2009 was because my (idiot) doctor thought I had swine flu (I didn't) and refused to give me a breathing treatment in her office.  I was so angry with her that I switched to a pulmonologist.  He put me on a cortico-steroid (smart guy) and I haven't gotten sick since then.  
The obgyn situation is totally and completely out of my control.  I was born with a septate uterus.  Basically, I have a wall that runs halfway down my uterus and divides my uterus in half.  Not a problem for everyday life, but it becomes a problem with pregnancy.  I've been told by several doctors that K should not exist, that she's my miracle baby, and that I've been lucky.  With a septate uterus there is a high incidence of miscarriage (I've heard a rate as high as 47% for miscarriage).  There's also high risk for preterm labor.  I went into labor with K at 28 weeks.  Poor little gal didn't have any room to turn!  There's nothing I can do to change it.  I can't take medication, can't have surgery to fix it (I asked).  So they may look at my records and say no.  They may look and say yes.  Until then... we just wait on the hope they've given me.

Treading Water

K was issued orders for a 1-year unaccompanied tour to Japan, so I started making alternative plans.  We're working on renting an apartment in Anthem, AZ though I worry it is going to be a stretch for our budget.  K has moved on making arrangements for his travel.  And in the midst of it all we're appealing the decision made by Okinawa's medical board.  So there's progress, but I also feel like we're back where we started.  We're just treading water.

All the questions

It's funny how quickly the path you're on can change.  I went from being excited about our adventure to mourning.  I went from thinking this would be a great experience for my family-- eager to get started on a once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity to wondering how I am going to keep my family close while separated by 6,000 miles, an ocean, and a 17 hour time difference.

And through all of this are all the questions.  You can stop reading now.  I'm using this as a tool to clear my mind.

Home

1. Where are K and I going to live?  I think Phoenix would be best-- I would have the most support, but I don't think I could move our home into my parent's home.
2. How/when am/are I/we going to move?
3. How do we divide up our things so that we both can have a functioning home in our separate homes?
4. How do we afford to run two homes?  How do we budget for groceries and cell phones and cars/gas?

Other Random

1. Are we still selling his car?  My car? If we decide to keep his car where will I keep it?  If we're not selling my car I need to get new tires. 
2. Am I going to get to visit the Mr?  Where will we stay?  How often will we get to see each other?
3. We were planning on a vow renewal ceremony in Hawaii, but I'd rather spend Christmas together.  
4. Do I get a job?  Do I got back to school?  What are my goals for the time we are apart?
5. How do we ensure we have family/bonding time?

At least now this stuff isn't bouncing around in my head anymore.

New Orders

The Mr will be going to Japan for one year unaccompanied.  I don't know when he leaves yet.

I have no idea what K and I are going to do-- if we'll stay here or move to AZ or where in AZ we'd live.

I don't know if I'm allowed to visit the Mr.  I hope he'll be allowed to visit me.

This blog has turned into a bunch of complaining and I'm sorry, but this sucks.

Be careful what you wish for

At the beginning of this blog I (foolishly) wished I didn't pass medical.  Yesterday, we found out I didn't pass medical.  I don't get to go, which is totally, completely, indescribably sad/disappointing/depressing/awful.  We don't know what this means for our family yet.  Our biggest fear is that the Mr will be sent to Japan or Afghanistan for 1 year.  If he went to Japan we'd be able to visit him, but he will miss out on so much with K and that breaks my heart.
I'm praying our new journey will be set out before us quickly.  I can't articulate why this is so disappointing.  Japan grew on me and we started to dream about what life would be like there-- how fun our new adventure would be.  Now, the unknown coupled with the loss of those dreams leaves an ache I haven't felt in a long time.  Like I said, I don't really have the words for it.

excited!

It's hard to believe that in less than two weeks our things will be getting packed, stored, and shipped!

I asked a friend about her experience living in Japan and if she had any advice.  This is some of what she wrote:

You will get very used to driving on the left-hand side. It is still natural to me now and I was only there for 2 years'ish. I sometimes still walk to the wrong side of the car to get in, rare, but they are mini-japan flashbacks.
The weather is great. Very rainy, but very tropical. That is on Oki, mainland is supposed to be beautiful as well, more like the states and not as humid as Oki. Buy an umbrella and rain coat or something that wont soak through.
To get your license you have to pass a simple test regarding signs and laws. They give you a class and it is very easy. You will get more comfortable driving as time passes and will venture out farther. Baby steps!
Japanese rarely buckle their kids, I swear they drive around with them standing in the front seat. They are also not the best drivers, buses and taxis especially, lots of mopeds and bikes, just makes you increase your awareness. The roads are more slick in Oki (including sidewalks) because of the coral they put in the cement mix. It gets slick so don't run when it's wet. 

They are casual dressers in Oki, more formal on mainland. Oki is like their Hawaii. so shorts, sandals are perfectly fine. You will get pamphlets saying otherwise, but if you walk around in business attire the whole time you will be hot, sticky, and overdressed.
The food is great. You can eat everywhere, super clean, english or picture menus in most all locations. Learn some basics, it will help out a lot and just make you more comfortable.
Lots of people hire mama-sans when they are there (housekeeper/nannies). They are usually very good with kids and are completely normal there, not a bad idea to consider. We had a cleaning lady weekly, it was really nice.
Public bathrooms are not the greatest. They have holes in the ground that are tiled that you have to balance over. Many restaraunts have put in regular western toilets. It makes it tough if you are out in a park etc, especially with kids who don't want to pee in a scary looking hole in the ground. Plus, you have to stand on the tile which is always suspiciously wet. Carry wet wipes and purell!
WHICH is why, you take off your shoes in restaurants (traditional, many let you keep them on) and put them on when you go to the bathroom. If this is the style of restaurant, you will see the collection of shoes. No one will walk off with them, they are perfectly safe.
They have lots of preschools/schools where American children can go to school and get the language exposure off base. The elementary offer japanese and chinese usually. There are jobs for spouses if you are interested and there are lots of activites and travel opportunities.
I missed clothes. The exchange there was terrible. Limited choices and everything seemed to be polyester and apple bottom or baby phat. Sometimes I wanted just a basic tank top or shorts and not have to pay $70. Off base the sizing is limited because they are made for short, tiny japanese women. So, lots of online ordering, especially for the kids. BUT, you can have pretty much anything made. Furniture is cheap. You can make do with government furniture and leave your things stored here, or buy new there. 
Mail is very quick, 2 weeks or less. All mail is picked up at a PO Box at your base's post office.
The internet was fine and the cable is funny. Same shows almost, but no commercials. Since they contract with whichever network to broadcast, they can't make profit and have to only show PSA's. So, you may be watching a kids show and then a military made commercial comes on about gambling addition, alcohol, sexual assault, smoking cessation, not running with headphones, not walking and talking on a cell in uniform, don't shake your baby, don't hit your spouse, don't be that guy, etc. They are low budget, sometimes entertaining and sometimes annoying.
The movies are about $2 a person and they have 1 or 2 new releases a month. Do you live on base now or have you ever? You know about the stopping for colors, standing at the movies, reserved parking spots, etc? 
Signing on guests is fairly easy, but you have to get it situated in advance. My mom came and visited and had a good time, we were locked down most of her visit and it was the 2nd occurance in 2 years, so she didn't get out much. We went to 2 other bases with beaches, so she still got to see things. Just not eat and shop or get her pedicure (best pedi's on the planet).
Mac flights are great. I am addicted. We did them before hand traveling on vacation to Europe from the states. So I was familiar with it there. Paperwork needs to be perfect, so just make sure it is in order before you try and leave anywhere. My fave mac flight travel site is dirk peppards. They list the outbound flights of multiple terminals so you can kind of plan.
Cell phones there aren't that bad. Inexpensive and we had a good plan to make unlimited calls to the states. We were with SoftBank. Cameron Diaz is the spokeswoman (or was). Green Mountain coffee has Scarlett Johanson and Boss Coffee has Tommy Lee Jones on their vending machines. Vending machine coffee is not bad. They have good coffee there if you like. Also, FANTASTIC curry. The only thing I missed was mexican food. They have everything else.
You don't make eye contact that much, it is uncomfortable for them. They don't shake hands or touch (like pats on the back) or hug hello, etc. They do have a tendency to pick their nose, belch, etc and not find that offensive. You will probably feel really tall and awkward at first, they might stare because you are blonde. They may randomly walk up to you and want a photo. They may come up and touch or want to hold your baby girl, not you, they just like kids. My good friend who is black used to have people touch her hair ALL the time. It was weird. The first time we went out, people were touching her daughter's hair. They somehow don't have that sense of boundaries when it comes to kids.
Playgrounds are awesome.
Japanese pro baseball has spring training in Oki, lots of games.
Ah, so I hope that helps. I LOVED it there, really. You will have a great time. The community opens up because you are all in the same boat.

I am so incredibly excited to experience a new, totally different culture!  I think it will be fun to explore and learn!  I think I'm most excited about the food.  As always.  I love food. so much.
[sigh]


I'm also kind of looking forward to rain.  I'm sure I'll get sick of it, but we get it so infrequently here that I really miss it.  I wonder if they get thunderstorms.  That would be awesome.  I wonder if they have any weird weather, like typhoons.  Do they get tornadoes?  Obviously Japan gets earthquakes.  I am really looking forward to getting out of the military and living somewhere the ground does not randomly shake.  I have an earthquake phobia.  Not sure if that is a real thing, but it's my thing.  [just googled it.  it's a real thing.  seismophobia.]


I have a strange fascination/repulsion/obsession with their public toilets.  My friend posted a photo on her facebook page and I am looking forward to the day I can share a similar photo with you guys.  I know, of all the things I am looking forward to posting the (lack of a) toilet shouldn't be on my top 10 or even probably top 100, but it is.  This is why you love me.  I am quirky and nerdy and maybe just a tad bit strange.  

mini-breakdown

I'm in the midst of a mini nervous breakdown and i need to get it out there somewhere because my head may explode.  or implode.  you know, I'm not quite sure what's in there and holds it all together.

Don't get me wrong, I'm excited about Japan.  I think it will be fun.  I think it will be a great opportunity for us.  We'll get to travel, to try a different lifestyle and to just do something many people can't do.  But I just want to be there already.

Point Loma NTC did our medical screening and told me we were good to go.  What I did not realize is that they sent their screening results to Japan and Japan has the final say-so as to whether or not we will be going.  They told us they would have an answer on monday.  It's now wednesday and I was just told that we could possibly not find out until next monday what Japan thinks.  TMO is coming to pack us up 2 weeks from tomorrow.  This stresses me out.  Not knowing 'for sure' if we're going or not.  [Having been a milspouse for 4+ years now I realize nothing is ever a sure thing in the military, but I'm really struggling with it this time!]

Addy and K must be picking up on my stress because both of them are super clingy and whiny.  Both have been constantly underfoot and crying/screaming/whining for absolutely no reason.  This is adding to my stress because it means we are not having productive days at all.  It also drains my patience.

So, I'd really like to be in Japan already.  I'd like to have the organizing, packing, moving, goodbyes, paperwork, and chaos over with already.  I just need to take a deep breath and try to enjoy all those moments that don't revolve around anything move-related, which is so much easier said than done.

stuff

We live in a 2-bedroom 920 sq ft apartment.  We don't have a lot of stuff.  At least, I didn't think we had a whole ton of stuff until I started trying to organize our belongings into 4 different categories: things to be stored for the 3 years we're gone, HHG (household goods) shipment which takes 2-6 months, express shipment which take 30-45 days, and things that need to stay with us. I also think I'll come across things we'll be selling, donating, or throwing out as well.
K loves to help me. She makes her own piles from the piles I have and reorganizes them into better piles.  She's funny.

We're potentially selling our car saturday.  This is getting more and more real!

Drama

Life in the military is crazy.  The Mr just called me and said, "what do you think about moving our TMO dates to April 5th and then going to Chicago and Phoenix?"  Wait, what?! Leave 4 weeks from tomorrow? I thought I had another 9 weeks to get ready to say goodbye to my home.  Now you're proposing 4 weeks?

So, tonight and tomorrow, we'll be weighing the pros and cons and seeing if we're going to be leaving earlier than expected.


o.m.g.

It's a date!

We finally have a date when all of our things will be moved.  TMO will be coming on May 8th & 9th to pack our stuff and ship or store it.
This means we have approximately 35 days left to get ready because the Mr intends on spending pretty much all of April in Phoenix and Chicago. Then, we will have have one week before our things leave and then, most likely, we will be following suit shortly thereafter.  We have yet to find out the date we will be flying, which seems backwards to me.  Shouldn't they make sure we were on a plane before they sent our stuff?  You know, make sure there's someone on the receiving end to ship to?  I suppose they do it this way because we need to sign off on our things being packed and shipped, but it just seems funny to me.
Anyway, with a date in place, the realization that this is happening so soon set in today as I thought about my goals before we left.  I need more time!  Seems to be a common theme with me!
This weekend my sisters are coming to visit.  The following weekend we have free except going to KaLeigh and Ryan's get-together (yay!)! The weekend following that Jared is here and the weekend after that will be April and we will hopefully be traveling.  We have one 'just us' weekend left?! Hard to grasp.